What Does A Princess Really Look Like? by Mark Loewen

If you are co-parenting, both of you will not always agree on rules and boundaries. Children’s parents are their bedrock, and you jointly set reliable boundaries that make their world understandable. It’s ironic that kids have such a need for boundaries and are so masterful at squeezing past them. These are moments that your child will remember, even if you can’t be that parent that seems to always be available to volunteer at functions. Younger children will invite you to play, older children might talk your head off. Scheduling twenty to thirty minutes a day of complete attention for your child is priceless. Are you the parent who joins in the neighborhood baseball game, or sits on the floor to try to fit a baby doll into a Barbie dress, or shows your child and her friends the ins-and-outs of musical chairs? Showing up at the recital or the game or the school meeting is just the beginning. Meanwhile, your kids have lives that they shouldn’t be living on their own. And if you are a stay-at-home parent, you wear so many hats, you can’t even keep up half the time. Oh, and work emails that can be accessed on your phone. Once work is done, there’s everything in the home to take care of – kitchens to clean, grass to cut, an endless supply of dirty laundry and dirty dishes, unmade beds, and pets. In a majority of families, both parents work outside the home. Love is a hug just because you’re within arm’s reach, a lap that’s available, smooches that end in giggles, and the message, spoken in a hundred ways, that “You are my favorite person and I’ll love you forever, no matter what.” No one can receive too much of that kind of boundless love, and children are little sponges waiting to soak up enough to carry them through their lifetimes. The latest game system, trendy clothes, a bike with literally all the bells and whistles are pretty sweet from any child’s perspective, but they aren’t love. Here are a few questions to help you determine if you are on the right track: 1. Good parents come in all shapes and sizes, and I get to meet quite a few of them in parent coaching sessions at my practice. I mistrust that term just as much as the one-size-fits-all label. So to clear things up from the start, the term perfect parent means nothing to me. All too often, parents give me the disclaimer, “I’m not a perfect parent, but…” The answer also depends on your definition of a good parent. Your best friend will likely give you a positive answer, but the stranger who witnesses your child’s meltdown at the store may be less assuring. Your child’s answer may vary widely depending on when you last let her have dessert. But at least good? Every parent asks this question at least once, more likely every day.

What Does A Princess Really Look Like? by Mark Loewen